Men of a certain age have a way of looking at things that puts everything in perspective — and one grumpy old man of our acquaintance certainly did that when we requested his prized Saagwala recipe.

He reluctantly emailed it when we finally threatened to send one of our creative correspondents round to his cosy castle to get the details.

Here it is, and from experience, it is certainly worth a try …

750g beef, cut into 1-inch cubes. Cheaper cuts such as chuck, flank or skirt are best; expensive beef will acquire the consistency of boiled mattress if treated as directed in this recipe.

Absence of fat is vital. Also the beef should have been aged in the fridge until it has an unhealthy-looking green tinge; do not rinse this off. The mild pong is essential.

1 large onion.
Peel it and chop it until your vision is blurred. Blow your nose and chop it some more.

Garlic
Use twice as much as you think is necessary and then double the quantity. Less than an entire bulb proves you’re a wimp. You can use fresh garlic, well crushed with a little salt and thrashed mercilessly in a mortar and pestle until it’s white and creamy and the aroma is enough to make hairdressers burst into tears at a range of 50 metres, or an entire jar of a proprietrary crushed variety.

1 heaped teaspoon ground coriander.
Lazy bastards buy it ready ground. Grind your own seeds (you’ll need at least a tablespoon of seeds) in a mortar and pass it through a medium sieve to take out the husks which, if left in, will spoil the texture in the same way as a handful of toenail clippings.

1 heaped teaspoon ground cumin seed.
Treat as above. Roasted cumin seed is better.

500ml beef stock
Make your own, unless you’re one of those feckless slobs who buys it in TetraPaks or, more criminally, in cube form. It has to be hot.

Chilli
Very much a matter of taste and bravado. Three to five long red chillis, chopped with the seeds in is the norm. Proprietary chopped chili in a jar is permissible. Use as much as you normally would and keep some more aside for fine tuning later.

1 tin coconut milk
2 tablespoons ghee or butter
50 ml canola or peanut oil
Salt (of course, whatever the doctor said)
1 teaspoon tamarind paste
1 tablespoon sugar

2 blocks frozen spinach, thawed, brought very briefly to the boil and then blended with its liquid to the consistency of the most disgusting pond slime you can remember

500g pre-cooked pinkeye potatoes, cubed

Put the ghee, oil and onion into a large, heavy frying pan and warm gently until the onion is soft and translucent. Add the garlic and chili. Keep the heat very low; if the mixture comes even close to burning, chuck it out and start again – otherwise it will be unpleasantly bitter.

When the chili vapour makes your eyes water, pour in the coconut milk, the ground spices, tamarind paste, sugar and half the stock. Wait until it simmers and turn the heat down. Add the meat, cover and simmer it as gently as possible for 40-45 minutes, stirring occasionally. Try it for tenderness and if the meat is still chewy, cook it a bit longer.

Simmer until the liquid is reduced by half and then add more hot stock. Adding cold stock will toughen the meat.

Add the salt to taste and simmer for a further 30 minutes. Then stir in the spinach and increase the heat until it bubbles and creates an interesting green splatter pattern all over the stove. Stir in the potatoes and turn off the heat, cover and let stand at least overnight.

Serve hot with rice and all the usual trimmings. Take care to garnish copiously with fresh chopped coriander, which will go some way to mitigate the vaporous consequences of digesting this combination of animal protein and concentrated choloropyll. Avoid public transport next day out of consideration for others. FB